Coping with infertility can be a heartbreaking experience for couples who want to start a family. Many couples and women, in particular, feel that there is something wrong with them if they’re unable to get pregnant.
There seems to be more pressure than ever these days for people to have children. Some women describe their problems with infertility as one of the most difficult and stressful experiences in their lives.
If you and your partner are going through fertility issues, you’re most likely going through a lot of emotions that are both negative and positive. So how do you cope with infertility and still manage to lead a somewhat normal life?
Emotions When Dealing with Infertility
As you and your partner try to conceive and month after month you still don’t get pregnant, you may start to feel overwhelmed and sad.
Infertility can bring about a big sense of loss at not being able to achieve what everyone else seems to have.
It’s important that you acknowledge any emotions that you’re feeling and find ways to cope with infertility. All and any emotions that you feel at this time are real and need to be acknowledged.
Don’t Blame Yourself for Your Infertility
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to blame yourself for your infertility problems.
Don’t listen to that voice inside your head that tells you that you should have taken better care of yourself when you were younger, or that you’re not good enough to be a mother.
The only thing that negative thinking will do is make things worse by increasing your feelings of inadequacy. Instead of negative thoughts and feelings about your infertility, find ways in which you and your partner are able to manage the situation you’re in.
Infertility is not your fault and in order to cope with your inability to get pregnant, you need to focus on the future and the good things it holds for you.
Helping Your Partner Cope with Infertility
One of the best things you can do to cope with your infertility problems is to work with your partner as a team so that you can help each other through this difficult and trying time.
Pay attention to what each of you is feeling even when you’re not feeling the same thing at the same time.
Join an infertility support group so that you can talk with other couples who are going through the same experiences and emotions as you are.
Once you know that you’re not alone, you’ll find that you’re better able to cope with all the different emotions that infertility can bring to the surface.
Information Helps You Cope
Educate yourself and learn as much as you can about your fertility situation and the options open to you. You and your partner need to understand what your odds are of getting pregnant.
You should be setting limits of what infertility treatments you’re willing to try and for how long you’re willing to keep trying before you spend too much time, emotion, and money.
The average IVF (in vitro fertilization) treatment costs 12,000 to 15,000 dollars. Most couples will need to undergo two or more IVF treatments before they get pregnant.
Determine how much you and your partner are able and willing to spend before you decide that perhaps adoption is a better option for you. The more educated and informed you are the more in control you’ll feel.
Coping by Putting Yourself First
It can be hard not to be sad and depressed when you’re invited to events that are baby related such as baby showers and first birthdays.
Seeing someone else with their baby is yet another painful reminder to you that you’re unable to get pregnant. If you and your partner are dealing with fertility problems and infertility treatments it’s okay to say no and decline to attend these events.
Give yourself permission to take care of your own feelings at this time. You can send a card and gift in order to avoid any hurt feelings from family and friends.
You need not share your struggles with infertility if you so choose. All you need to do is say that you’re busy and can’t attend. There are times when coping means you have to be a bit selfish and put yourself first.
Balance Helps You Cope With Infertility
One of the best ways you can cope with infertility problems is to find balance in your emotions. It’s okay to be optimistic that infertility treatment is going to work for you but you also need to be realistic about your pregnancy odds.
Make treatment choices that are right for you and your partner so that you’re not completely devastated when you still don’t conceive.
Don’t ignore other interests and activities that were important to you before you decided to have a baby. You can’t put your entire focus and concentration on conceiving and getting pregnant.
This will only lead to unhealthy negative emotions if you allow your infertility issues to be all you think about. As much as you want to be pregnant, you need to take care of yourself.
Coping with infertility isn’t easy but learning a few coping skills is a step in the right direction.